


Goodbye, Cat Grant

by Teeline



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Goodbyes, Season/Series 02, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 23:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10729836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teeline/pseuds/Teeline
Summary: I decided to do a write-up about Cat Grant's goodbyes, from Kara's perspective. Thinking it might lead up to a longer work on what happened to Cat after she left, basically an AU after the first two episodes of season 2, but for now it is just a one-shot.





	Goodbye, Cat Grant

"I need to dive."  
Well, to me, she already had. Her voice sounded as if it was a thousand miles away, under the ocean, barely crashing through the surface so that I had a chance to hear her. I had to scramble her words to try to make out what she was saying.  
My legs couldn't carry me right now, my stance wobbly. I sat down, not knowing what else I could do. I didn't want her to see how deeply it affected me. My mind ran through all the possibilities of what I could say, but nothing felt right. My mouth didn't follow suit, and the words fell out of it before I had the chance to reject them.  
"Everything is changing so fast. I do not do well with change," I said, and I regretted it as soon as it left my lips. My face burned and my eyes stung, and I swore to myself I wouldn't cry. She hated that. I knew she hated that. I could feel them though, the tears, stacking up against my emotional barricades, welling up in my eyes. It was so hard. "Gosh, Ms. Grant, I-", was not the start of what I wanted to say, but it was what I did say. "I really can't imagine being here without you."  
I wanted to say; 'Please stay, Cat' or ' I need you, honestly, more than you will ever know.' I wanted to say; 'You, and working for you, keeps me sane'. I was on the verge of begging, 'Don't leave me'.  
However, these were things meager assistants didn't tell Cat 'Queen of all media' Grant. She had John Stamos on speed dial and had drinks with Madonna, and I was- Well, okay, I was Supergirl. But Cat didn't know that, and Kara Danvers, the girl with the sloppy pony tail and the less-than-average confidence levels, was the one sitting in Cat's office right this moment. There was no way she, I, could ever talk to her like that.  
"Kara, you-" She looked flustered, and perhaps even sad? It wasn't the anticipated reaction, that is for sure. She cared about me, I knew that, but there was just... something. Something in the way she looked at me while she composed herself. She hadn't looked at me that way before, and I found myself wondering what was going through her head. "Oh, Kara. You will rise to the occasion."  
Pride. Yes, of course. She was proud of me. I think she even saw herself as my friend in that moment, all I had wanted since I had figured out I saw her as mine. Cat was Supergirl's friend, but now she was Kara Danvers' too. She touched my hair, so gently I barely felt it, and as her finger slightly grazed my cheek I decided I was going to make her proud. When she came back, which I refused to believe she wouldn't, I would show her what all she had done for me had eventually led to.  
I stood up and hugged her, trying to convey all this in one single act of affection, risking that she would push me away when I tried. She didn't, and soon I held her in my arms. This fragile human, with her heart beating so loudly in my ears, against my chest, under the tips of my fingers. I felt as if letting her go, right now, would break me.  
Her breath was warm on my neck as she spoke quietly; "Now I want you to go in there and show that son of a bitch Snapper what you are made of."  
That was the my cue to leave, and as we broke free I felt the cold air rush to all the places where her body had touched mine. It lingered there as I walked out of the room, with her "Chop, chop" ringing in my ears.  
I wasn't used to goodbyes, to the physical sensation of losing a friend to something other than death. I wasn't sure I had ever felt it before and, if this was it, it was worse than I had ever thought. I wondered how long it would be before the lingering cold patches on my skin would go away.

* * *

Later that night, I was still weak from the Kryptonite. The Metallo attacking me and Alex had really taken a toll on me, and every part of my body was aching. Alex pet my hair carefully, while I was lying with my head in her lap, icing my bruises. The sun had gone down, and I didn't want to stay at the DEO for longer than necessary, so I had to resort to human methods for healing bruises. It was nice. It made me feel normal.  
Game of thrones played on the TV, and as Jon Snow ended up in bed with Ygritte, I suddenly remembered. "Alex, I need to go."  
"Go where?" I felt her hand press just slightly harder to my head as she stroked my hair, her fingers digging further down in my curls than usual. "We're having girls' night, right?"  
"I'll come back soon, I just- there is something I have to do." I swiftly moved out of the couch, not minding Alex hand that so passive aggressively tried to hold me down. I knew she was worried about me, and I also knew she was hurt. I just couldn't miss the chance for Supergirl to say goodbye to Cat Grant. There had to be a grand finale before Cat was gone for no one knows how long. I would have eons of time to assure Alex I was fine later.  
Changing into the Supergirl costume took hardly any time, I had gotten a lot better at that part. It felt as if it switched instantly now, as if the suit was always a part of me, and with the push of a button I could reveal it. Obviously it was not quite that simple, but it had really become second nature.  
"Oh, no-" Alex reminded me that she was also a master of switching disguises, quickly swapping from my sweet and caring older sister to DEO agent Alex Danvers, ready to take down the unruly alien. "No, no, no. You are not recovered. There is no emergency the people can't handle on their own right now."  
I had no idea how Alex had managed to place herself between me and the door before I had a change to acknowledge that it was what she was doing. It was a symbolic gesture all right, but all her facial features were frozen, not showing any real emotions except for decisiveness. Any other night that might have discouraged me (please note that I said might...), but not tonight. As much as I cared for Alex, I had to do this. I couldn't let Cat go without giving her a proper send-off, one I knew she was waiting for. Kara - well, that was something that had to happen, being her protegé and all. It was a farewell for my own benefit, but Supergirl's? That would be just for her. A vague but nonetheless meaningful thank you for all she had done for National City, and for me. "I have to. I'll be back in a sec, I promise. I won't fight anyone, I just really have to this, Alex. She-"  
"She? Is this about Cat Grant? That woman is certainly not an emergency." Raised eyebrow, hand on hip. Alex wasn't pleased. "You are going to be flying, just a few hours after you were blasted with a huge dose of Kryptonite, more than you should be able to handle? For what, Kara? Cat Grant is out of coffee, or she needs you to fetch a duvet from Egypt for her because she can't sleep, or any other ridiculous demand? These are not your working hours, and we are having girls' night. Honestly, I feel like this means nothing to you. I am tired of being the last thing on your list of priorities, and I am tired of you putting yourself at risk for silly things. I can't protect you from yourself. Don't let Cat bully you into doing this no normal human would ever be capable of. Please, Kara, just stay here tonight."  
"Alex..." I digged my fingers into the palm of my hands, and kind of wished it would have hurt, but enough residue from the Kryptonite had left my body for my hands to be perfectly dull to that kind of force. I hated when I made Alex feel like she wasn't important, and I hated it even more when I couldn't prove that she was by staying with her. She was so frustrated she was on the verge of crying, just like when we were small and she had to answer all my questions about earth, for hours on end, until she lashed out at me for being different. She had always wanted a normal sister, and I guess I still hadn't learnt what that meant. A hug wouldn't heal her hurt, but it had to be good for now. As I held on to her tightly I tried to explain. "You are the most important person in my life. I never want to make you feel like less than that. I am sorry about Clark, and I am sorry about all the other times I haven't shown you the love I really do feel. Okay?"  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"  
"It's fine. I deserve it." My fingertips digged into her sweater, trying to desperately cling to something familiar as I tried saying what I didn't want to be true. "Cat is leaving."  
"Leaving?" Alex looked up at me, furrowing her brow. "Cat Grant, CEO of CatCo, is leaving? How? Where?"  
I couldn't help but sigh defeatedly. "I don't know. I'm not sure she does either. I don't want to leave you tonight, but you know I don't have many friends. And Cat... She is more than that. She is a mentor and she is the only one of my friends that doesn't know about, well, this." My hand pointed to the suit, perhaps slightly more agressively than I had thought. I made a mental note to revisit that anger later. Now was not the time. "She keeps me grounded, and she's just leaving. I want to catch her before she disappears. I'm so, so, sorry, Alex, but I have to go. I will be careful with the superpower thing, I will come straight home afterwards, and I will bring back pizza."  
"Go, just go." Alex gave me a slight smile, and I knew she was okay when she ushered me out the door, telling me to make sure I got there before Cat left. Just as the door was supposed to slam behind me she stuck her head out into the corridor. "Oh, and Kara? I want pepperoni on my pizza."  
She grinned wider than she should be physiologically able to. I rolled my eyes at her before she went back into the apartment and I heard the lock click into place. I couldn't be more relieved.  
We were okay. 

* * *

"Oh, you'll miss it?" Cat's silhouette had at first been just barely distinguishable in the darkness, but I never doubted she'd be there. She wasn't that hard to figure out, after all. She would be looking out at her empire, before she'd leave it all behind, and she'd look for her biggest achievement as she did. Me.  
But it wasn't the media mogul and business magnate that I found, staring out into the distance. She looked defeated, worried. A bit weathered, in a way she never was. I hardly dared to even think about it, out of fear for her or out of hope I couldn't know, but it looked as if she was about to change her mind.  
When she saw me, she straigthened her back and leaned casually against the railing. Fell back into the image of the woman I knew, so instantly that it felt as if I had never seen what I thought I had seen. There was no sadness, no regret visible in her face. Just ordinary, or not so ordinary, Cat Grant. "Who told you I was leaving?"  
"Little bird," I teased, knowing that she was perfectly aware I would be here. She was the queen of news, she knew how easily they spread. And, she had waited for me. The glass of whiskey in her hand had been shaking when I arrived, and every hair was raised on her arm. She had probably been out there for a while.  
"Little plane?" Count on Cat to play off that old line. It crossed my mind that it could mean something other than just her being coy, that she knew about Kara, or well, me. I waved that thought away - it could really mean just about anything, and it was probably nothing but an effective way for her to conceal her curiosity, and to try and lirk some sort of answer about my friends or my identity out of me. There was nothing I could say to that, no point in lying to someone who would see right though me. Instead I waited her out, like any good journalist would do, and eventually she answered my original question.  
"Yes, yes, I will, I will miss CatCo every day."  
I smiled. "Well, I admire you Ms. Grant. Scary - leaving the life you've known."  
"Hm, no, I- I'm about to take a leap into the unknown and I am- I'm thrilled." Her voice was somber, and to me, it sounded as if she had already left. She was everywhere but here, present with me. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but clearly she tried to seem as if she was fine. I couldn't have lured any information out of her.  
"Do you have any idea how exciting it is not to know what I am going to do tomorrow?", she asked, but she didn't sound too excited.  
I couldn't really relate to that. My life had always been better when I knew what would happen the day after, before Supergirl and all the instability that came with a secret identity. Living in a state of perpetual worry and vigilance was tough. Familiarty was so precious to me, but her question warranted a yes, which I just couldn't give her. I tried laughing to avoid the situation, but that wasn't successful in the slightest. My laugh was fake, metallic and hardly audible, my smile barely concealing my gritted teeth and clenched jaw.  
When she told me again that it was exhilerating to not know what her days would look like, I wasn't sure if she said that to convince me or to convince herself. I had learned her mannerisms, working for her for such a long time. That soft voice, the slight smile that never reached her eyes... It really seemed like something was off. I couldn't say anything, I knew she'd never answer truthfully, and I just wanted to just be there with her for now. I was so afraid of making her feel uncomfortable around me. All I could do was to pretend to be amused, once again trying to force a laugh that I wasn't sure fooled her.  
We stood quiet for a second, and despite it all, I felt a small dark pit of jealousy form in my stomach. It wasn't about not knowing what a day would hold, it was jealousy about her chance to become someone else. She could leave me and the rest of us behind, and never look back. She could escape the life she had built and turn her whole life over, change it in the course of what had felt like just a day or two. I wasn't as lucky. The winds over National City would never sweep me anywhere, I could never leave. If I could, maybe I had gone with her. She had said I'd always have a job with her, and she was the kind of person who would keep her promises.  
"God, I wish I could do that sometimes. Start something new, be someone new," I said, because Cat always managed to say the right things in times like these, and I could listen to her thoughts and her advice for hours.  
"Hm, well, life is long and you will be many different people before the end. And knowing you, every single one of them will be extraordinary." Cat Grant thought I was extraordinary? The circuits in my brain were burning and I was so grateful for the darkness of the night and my ability to shut up when I knew I had to. My cheeks were most likely glowingly red, and there were a million things I wanted to say. "But not as extraordinary as me", she continued.  
I couldn't help but to smile. It was such a her thing to say, and I was pretty sure she was also right. "No, of course not. That is very true, Cat."  
The glare in her eye was back, something in her felt more alive and vibrant than it had just moments ago, and I suppose I should have anticipated her next move. She wasn't trying to be discreet about it when she said; "Have I ever told you that my name is Catherine?" She wanted to know my identity before she left.  
However, I knew that whole thing would be more messy than we had time for. It was hard not to think of that time when she had convinced herself that I was Supergirl, how she acted then. Now wasn't the time, if it ever even would be. "I'm not telling you my real name."  
"Ugh, I had to try", I heard there was some seriousness behind it, that she wasn't just joking, but I was glad she just dropped it.  
"I know." We stood right next to eachother now, her arm touching mine just lightly. I had to resist the urge to lean my head on her shoulder.  
"It is the reporter in me." She fell silent, but it felt as if there was something else she wanted to say. I turned to look at her and for the first time during this whole conversation Cat met my gaze, and I could tell she really saw me. Saw the reality of it all. Not just me, but everything she was leaving behind. Her voice was soft and humble when she finally spoke. "Be safe, Supergirl."  
"You too." Once again they were there, the tears, so close to the surface. The conversation was coming to an end. This was my chance to ask her to stay a while longer. To tell her that National City needed her. That I did. But I had to be happy for her, this was the decision she had made after all. I decided to just make sure that I would see her again. "And come back. I know we all need change but we need friends too."  
"Oh, I'll be back." There must have been something about the way I moved, or something about what I had said, that made her feel I doubted her. She quickly assured me by saying 'I will' with such a conviction that it felt as if she was defending herself to me. To be fair to Cat, I did doubt that I would see her back in National City anytime soon, she wasn't wrong about that. There was just... something about her.  
Still, I refused to say goodbye to her. It was too final, so instead I just left. Flew up from the balcony and circled back to look at her one last time, as she had turned her back to me now. Her golden curls, her body radiating strength and passion, her well concealed fragility, all of her many hidden layers. It was all there, I could see it all. As she disappeared through the door that led to her office, I realised that I'd never met anyone like her before.  
Rao knows I'd miss her. 

* * *


End file.
